Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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