why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
