I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
You've changed since you got that strap on
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
