I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
