Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
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