your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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