Where is the hickey?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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