now i know why i became what i already was.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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