you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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