the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
