The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
