a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize