You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
