she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
