yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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