The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
