Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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