After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Randomize
