Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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