goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
