When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
