the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
