I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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