no, he came in my armpit
I want her autograph on my taint
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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