Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
