fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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