Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
