I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize