I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
i believe in u and ur pee
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