Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
