She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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