So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
