do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
