Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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