So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
