is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
