Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
