i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
lets start a swedish sibling band together
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
