have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
