I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
