Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
