im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
