Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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