Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
