Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
