porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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