I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Randomize