could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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