then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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