I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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