This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
