white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
