Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
