Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
