Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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