He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
