I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
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