do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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