and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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