I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
