did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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