We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
